Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Before your first day....relax and stop worring about it...

Before the First Date:
One advantage to online dating is that you've sold your personality to some extent with the person you are dating. They might have seen a picture or two of you and thought you were cute. But otherwise, you got this date based on your own words. Hopefully, the impression you created was one you can carry over into the first date.



*Think about it. You’ve signed up with your favorite online dating website. You’ve met someone interesting. The two of you swapped emails and agreed to meet for a date. Perhaps you’ve even met your online date on Instant Messenger. But now, it’s time to give the internet a rest and test out the waters in that real life ocean outside of the computer. Now, you might be Worried about your First ‘in real life’ date and nervously thinking about what to do and what no to.


*Stop Worrying About Your First Date
Stop worrying. First of all, what you're doin:g seems to be working. You're probably better armed with information than you would in a normal offline dating relationship. At some level, your date has accepted who you are. So you should have the confidence that you're doing something right. On the first date, you have to remember to keep up the good work, while not overexposing yourself.

Follow these simple first date tips. If you stick to these simple online daters first date tips, you should do alright. A first date is like a big football game. Often, it isn't the big play that wins the game; it's who makes the fewest mistakes. So the best first date tip I can offer is just that: limit your mistakes.

First Date Do’s:

1.Be Yourself:
Keep it simple and don’t be fake. If you put on an act, you might be able to pull it off for the length of the date. But what about forever? What if this is the serious love affair of your life?
Besides, your mind is likely to be swimming on the first date. You won't be at the height of your powers of concentration, so it's better to concentrate on being yourself than being something you're not. Unless you're really witty and really smooth at delivering lines, it's probably just better to be genuine.

2.Smile:
A genuine smile always spreads a cheer and brings out the liveliness in the mood. Your partner will have a great time if you look content. It's positive affirmation for him or her, while you are a whole lot likelier to create a positive impression when smiling than scowling.
Besides, a lot of time is wasted on every date with each person wondering what the other thinks and if they’re comfortable. Let her know you’re happy by showing her a pleasant smile.

3.Communicate:
The days are gone when being shy or speaking less was considered smart and elegant. This is the information age, the era of communication. If you don’t like something, speak up by suggesting something else. Say what’s on your mind, whether you’re feeling giddy and excited. By all means, share.
Don't be cross or sour, though. Be pleasant and polite, even if you are criticizing something or otherwise giving "straight talk". This shows confidence in speaking your mind, without being a jerk about it.

4.Dress Neat:
Overdressing isn’t the answer. Looking neat and clean is important, though. Business casual attire will probably keep you looking great, and keep your date at ease as well. At the same time, do take care with your appearance. Though you expect your mate to take you as you are, you don't want to look like you are taking that for granted. If you want them to care about you, look like you care about yourself. Don't not want to let it all "hang out" on the first date.


First Date Do Not’s:



1.Don't Be Silly
Don’t laugh or giggle too much. Above, we suggested that you be yourself and smile a lot. Smiling is good, but don’t be overly jovial or vivacious. Be natural. Lots of giggling or laughing like a hyena is a general sign of nervousness and generally betrays a lack of confidence. Don't laugh at your own jokes or comments. That's a sign you're looking for affirmation and looks needy.

2.Don't Be Shy:
If there’s food on the table, dig in. Whether you’re a guy or a girl, the mouse act is out of fashion. If bbq’d ribs are on the table, get after them. (I would suggest ordering something different, though, because there's no neat way to eat a tasty set of ribs.) If the dish is anything other than BBQ however, eat up. Show you are healthy and hearty, but do sowithout acting like a slob.

3.Don't Get Handsy:
Don’t touch too much. Touching creates stronger bonds. When I’m out with my guy, I like him to touch my elbow as we walk together, or brush my shoulder when he walks by. I like that feeling that I’m with him, and that’s our special bond.
Remember though that this is your first date. So try to take it slow and not freak your date out by pawing, or being to personal to soon. This is one you should let her take the initiative. Otherwise, you begin to make her feel uncomfortable. Show a little restraint and it might pay off.

4.Don't Be a Barbarian :
Use table manners. Don’t talk while you have food in your mouth. This is a basic table manner, but we would still like to emphasize on this. It’s a total turn off to see food crushed in someone’s mouth and slathered in their saliva. So eat slowly and speak when you are finished swallowing.

5.Don't Dominate the Conversation
Shut up every once in a while. This is a date and you should be interested in her, too. Therefore, you should share and talk about yourself, but not endlessly. For some, that’s hard to do; for others, it comes natural. Many people love to talk about themselves, non-stop. A country song comes to mind here.
The person across from you hasn’t started caring about you yet, so though your success and failures in life are interesting to you, they might not be to him or her. Things she might not be interested in just yet include: what you cooked for dinner last night, all the things your friends said all week, what some jerk at work said. Let’s not drag your date into your emotional hurricane...just yet

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